Written by: Kevin Hack

“Eighty percent of life’s satisfaction comes from meaningful relationships.”
-Brian Tracy

Al Ritter has written a book titled “The 100/0 Principle.”  You can find the short read by googling Simple Truths.  Ritter points out that most of us have heard the notion that relationships should be a 50/50. So, we assume that if I do my 50%, you agree to do your 50%, and we’ll have a great relationship.  So, when something breaks down in the relationship, we tend to blame the other. 

I know all of you have heard the 100/100 Proposal: “I’ll take 100% responsibility, you do the same, and we can’t miss.” Right….. however, the proposal has the same shortcomings as the 50/50 proposal.  The 100/100 idea also has the problem that each person has higher unrealistic expectations of the other.   Each person expects the other to take full responsibility.

So, what is the big deal about the 100/0 principle when it pertains to relationships?  The principle is this simple.  I take full responsibility (the “100”) for the relationship, expecting nothing (the “0”) in return.”

Say what…..??? We all get into the relationships because you need something from me and I need something from you. This 100/0 principle strikes most of us as strange, here’s the rub with this principle. When you take total responsibility for a relationship with another, expect nothing in return, more often than not the other person quickly chooses to take responsibility for the relationship as well.  When this occurs, breakthroughs happen for the individuals involved, their teams, their organizations, and their families.

Mr. Ritter points out that there are many people in our lives were the relationship is more important than who is right or wrong. In these relationships, the 100/0 principle applies, where one is willing to take full responsibility for the relationship with another, expecting nothing in return. Each of us must determine where in our lives this principle should apply. For most of us, it applies to immediate and extended family, friends, work associates, and customers with whom we are obliged to interact. 

Mr. Ritter credits his Mother for this old saying: “If you want to change someone, change yourself first.” The 100/0 principle is the simplest, most direct and most effective way to create solid relationships.

Shift your thinking from “it takes two to tango” to “I can and will create a relationship with that person”. Take responsibility for the relationship working, expect nothing in return, and watch what happens!

Maybe Mr. Ritter is a Mason, because this principle is etched in our Masonic Mission, vision and Values.  Masons meet on the level.  Act on the Plumb and Part on the square.  So may we brethren, ever Meet, Act and Part.